New rules for women.updated version!

  •  Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us griping about you leaving it down.
  • Spinning the toaster bread packaging and then folding it under is just as good as using the plastic tie thingy.
  •  Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
  •   Crying is blackmail.
  • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  • We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  
  •  If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
  • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  •  If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  • Don’t make us guess
  • Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
  • Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Advertisements

~ by mcsavage on April 24, 2009.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: